Wednesday, September 07, 2005

New beginnings

The first day of school. My morning solitude is officially a thing of the past, at least on weekdays. The hub-bub has already descended around me, and it’s only a quarter past six. There’s excitement in the air, excitement brought by the notion of a fresh start, the endless possibilities of a new school term. New friends to meet, boys to check out, social orders to structure. Oh, yeah, new subjects to learn. That too.

My daughters inspect themselves carefully from head to toe. They dwell on every imperfection, from the slightest blemish on the cheek to the chapped bottom lip. It all matters so much, too much, really. Their fortunes in middle school will rise and fall on a blemish, or the wrong style of sneaker worn, or whether their hair cooperates this morning.

I remember that kind of adolescent fretting, though I can’t say for sure what I fretted about. The same things, I’m sure. It wasn’t pleasant. Being a girl hasn’t changed much between 1970, when I entered 8th grade, and 2005. It’s still about looking a certain way, being attractive to boys, popular with the “in crowd.” My daughters will likely survive this difficult time, just as I did. There will undoubtedly be scars that will take time — perhaps into adulthood — to heal. They’ll make mistakes and pay the price. They’ll laugh and cry and love and get their hearts broken. With the help of God and some TLC from Mom and Dad, they’ll survive it all no worse for the wear. And someday they’ll watch their own children primp and fuss in front of a mirror getting ready for the 8th grade and remember what it was like for them.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

DENISE:

THANK YOU FOR THE NICE THOUGHTS. yOU ARE VERY GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO. THE TOWN NEEDS PEOPLE LIKE YOU. TOUGH IT OUT AND SAY IT LIKE IT IS.

REGARD...AN OLD POLISH FRIEND

Celia L. Iannelli said...

Thanks for the memories - My sister and I call going back to school gold locket and turtle neck days. Our Mom would purchase turtle neck shirts in every color which we would wear with gold lockets our grandmother gave us. Jeans were a no no! Actually
jeans were dungarees which were worn after school. We shopped for school clothes and shoes. The shoes were purchased a half size
larger so they would last the school year. Yes, we also saw
every blemish and imperfection in
glorious Technicolor. We worried incessantly about boys, teachers,
and making the school teams and of course fitting in.
So everything changes and nothing changes. My sister and I survived as do most of us. Think I will call her to reminisce.

Anonymous said...

I called my sister after this and we remembered "the days". Although she is alot older than me (poodle skirts v jeans) We taked about how we had the same concerns regarding acceptance, clothes, blemishes (pimples). She is now going through her "second life", as I refer to it, as a grandmother of eleven. Two of them teens!

Denise, thanks for sharing your day and thoughts. It really did provoke great discussion and laughs.

Deniise, thanks for the memories. Right on as usual. And my sister told me to tell you "good luck" as with teens in junior high you are in the ugly PMS years! :)

Keep blogging!

Anonymous said...

Kudos to Ed Densieski for not stooping to Cardinale's degrading name-calling (Mr. Ed) and instead addressing the foolishness of the Wilpon housing scam on its merit (or lack thereof)

Let's hope that the people stand up at the hearings on this deal to remind these politicians that our Town needs REAL JOBS, not GOLF VILLAS for Millionaires!!!!

Anonymous said...

Denise,

You need to start screening what is written. The last comment was totally inappropriate for the subject matter. Your reflections and observations should not be diminished by "jerks" with personal political agendas. This blog was from your heart as a parent. Let's not have "politics" ruin the special moments.

If these "jerks" want a forum send them to 631 politics or sponsor another blog as Riverhead Government.

:) Thanks!

Anonymous said...

ms civiletti:

what are the rules of a blogg...er what is a blogg..."politics" is in everything...when i look at my children i wonder what the future will bring... i will be gone before them the lord willing...but unfortunately...they will move away soon...because they can not afford to live in the town where they grew up...in because there is less job opportunity here...i went to a few town meetings and watched
the show on tv....i never once heard anyone say "riverhead needs decent paying jobs....i don't play golf...i not going to buy any condo for $500,000 bucks...i am afraid most of the time...i even cry while i pray for the answers...

4 years after 9/11 and they want to build condos...."god forgive them for they know not what they do"....

Anonymous said...

Denise...you're entirely on point with the Values we Cherish..and why we fell in love with the North Fork in the First Place.

The problem is that Mr. Phil and our politicians are too busy selling our lifestyle out to Slick developers concerned only with how many Million dollar condos they can get for the RICH and Famous